insta girls

you thought i was

disposable. your words

like glass shards

glinting in the

wreckage of

what could have been

real.

after sex

your fingers spidered

for the girls in

your phone. their

affirmations

a cream swirl

in your morning coffee.

it didn’t matter

what they looked

like.didn’t matter

that your body

was still warm

in my bed

or that their

fishnets and filler

mirrored the things you

claimed

repulsed you.

stalker— you said about

me. a madwoman

for asking

while your hands

fumbled

for the lace clasp

of her bra

(i thought you fell asleep?)

you’re the reason

i have these

fucked up

issues. the fault lines

that split open

when innocence

approaches

me.

the reason i

destroy

what i should

protect

the awful way

i come

undone

so desperate

so pathetic

so paranoid.

you have a new girl now

la woman

silicone

thing. hand picked

from the dust of

your message

requests.

i’ll never forgive you

not for what you did

but for the way you

trained me

to flinch at kindness.