Such a good read. I’ve noticed this pattern with myself in the past and have corrected it. I can think of two reasons why I did it: 1) I was uncomfortable by their flattery - so instead of taking the compliment, I’d spin into self deprecation so as not to seem self indulgent (and because i did not believe it) and 2) I wanted to show I was different. I could take a joke, I did not take myself too seriously or care too much. But the result was the same. Eventual self defeat.
I began to recognize the potency of the words I spoke. I started really monitoring my speech. When you pay attention you’ll notice when you say something you don’t actually believe is true, you feel it. It manifests in the body like a subtle “pit in your stomach.” I feel it when I am being performative or trying to make myself more palatable for another person. I try to avoid the things that make me feel that internal disagreement. In that process you start to discern who you are by identifying what you’re not. You’ll develop an awareness of your own identity and with that, a quiet and stable confidence.
And self deprecation is like handing someone ammunition to use against you. It is of no service to you to make yourself smaller. Humility and self humiliation are not the same.
Or just fuck people like that? I do the same, get the same reaction, but honestly don't care anymore. People trying to be cool in 2025 is the most pathetic thing I know 🤷♂️
Such a good read. I’ve noticed this pattern with myself in the past and have corrected it. I can think of two reasons why I did it: 1) I was uncomfortable by their flattery - so instead of taking the compliment, I’d spin into self deprecation so as not to seem self indulgent (and because i did not believe it) and 2) I wanted to show I was different. I could take a joke, I did not take myself too seriously or care too much. But the result was the same. Eventual self defeat.
As someone who struggles with this as well, what helped you correct course?
I began to recognize the potency of the words I spoke. I started really monitoring my speech. When you pay attention you’ll notice when you say something you don’t actually believe is true, you feel it. It manifests in the body like a subtle “pit in your stomach.” I feel it when I am being performative or trying to make myself more palatable for another person. I try to avoid the things that make me feel that internal disagreement. In that process you start to discern who you are by identifying what you’re not. You’ll develop an awareness of your own identity and with that, a quiet and stable confidence.
And self deprecation is like handing someone ammunition to use against you. It is of no service to you to make yourself smaller. Humility and self humiliation are not the same.
Thank you so much!! :)
Or just fuck people like that? I do the same, get the same reaction, but honestly don't care anymore. People trying to be cool in 2025 is the most pathetic thing I know 🤷♂️
nice. been there. well written.
are you an Aries?
fuck men